Toby Martini

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Environment wins

June 1, 2012 by Toby Martini Leave a Comment

Humpty Dumpty vs the Wall

When people attempt big changes in their life,  they often overlook the importance of their environment. By environment, I mean more than just the place you live. Your environment includes the people that are around you, too.

Friends and family tend to support your daily efforts and your “reasonable” goals. But, often when you decide to really streatch out and start to make a dream happen for you, you’ll find some resistance.

Subtle (or not so subtle) suggestions and actions may start. Suddenly, the people that most love and support you are telling you things like, “That sounds great, but don’t quit your day job.” or “That sounds nice. But, it will have to wait until everything gets settled first.”  These peer pressures ask you to put off your dream or abandon them.

Why would those that love you ask you to forsake your dreams? It’s precisely because they do love you. The want you to be safe. Just like the little piece of your brain that is constantly trying to keep you safe and looking good, they don’t want you to be hurt.


I don’t recommend arguing with them. Arguing or stating rational facts won’t necessarily win the day. You’ll want to calm them. Make sure they know that you are not jumping off a cliff, nor are you abandoning them or your life. Once they know that you are prepared and that you have considered all of the angles, here is where you get to invite them into your game…

Create an inspiring vision of how it’s going to be when you succeed. Tell them how great it is going to be for you. Use vivid, colorful imagery and really create a world that they can see. Tell them how it will be for them in your future, too. Bring them into this future world of yours and make them feel at home.

Instead of dealing with subtle pressure to just stay the way you’ve been, you will now have cheering fans 0n the sidelines and hopefully much more direct assistance too.


Another benefit of this tactic is that by creating a vivid, inspiring future for them to see, you are constantly reinvigorated by it, too! If you can see what it is you’re working towards, it will help you more easily clear any obstacles that show up along the way.

So, go create something awesome for your life and bring your friends and family for the ride!

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