Spend your time DOing instead of watching.

Many of us spend far too much time “preparing to work” or “getting ready to get ready”.

We need more research: to read one more book, attend one more seminar/webinar, get one more expert coach. I’m not against any of those things. They are all fantastic. Knowledge is great.

When people say that “Knowledge is Power” they’re not exactly right. Knowledge is potentially power. Knowing things is good, but what can you do with it? What DO you do with it?

“The Application of Knowledge is Power.”

Sort of like the Law of Attraction. Intention is great. Knowing what you want is awesome. Taking steps to make it happen is what makes it happen.

The Law of Attraction should be read as the Law of AttrACTION!

Don’t go out and buy a new book or go to a seminar. Instead, apply something you’ve learned. Create something; a new product or service, book, article, event. Whatever.
Go create and Do!

There is a recurrent actor nag about doing the work: “Do you want to watch TV or be on TV?”  Too many actors watch shows or movies “studying technique” when they should be out practicing techniques.
We are ALL merely players. Go play!

The Passive Aggressive Manifesto has a bit, “Do as much as you read.”
It says a couple of other good things about this point, too. Check it out at http://bettermess.com/the-passive-aggressive-manifesto/

Here are three things you can DO in your life to get more life in your Life.

Do something different
Take up a weird hobby. Do things most people don’t do. Not for your work, although one day it may be, but for your personal life.

Something odd, interesting, strange, weird, unusual, non-typical. Whatever you want to call it. Just something that 90% of everybody doesn’t do.

I’m not talking of doing something that necessarily has value outside of the thrill, joy, or fun of doing it. And the story to tell.

That is a long-term thing to do. Also consider trying the occasional one-time jolt. Do something that typical adults no longer do. Try something from your childhood OR something that kids do today that you missed out on.

Maybe go to a skateboard park, play Yu-Gi-Oh at the community center, roll down a grassy hill. Break your own patterns. You will feel more alive.

Contribute!
Every time I coach someone who is trying to figure out what they should do with their life OR what job they should take (or create), I have one real answer. I can’t usually just blurt it out though. In true Socratic method, they must be led to the answer so they come up with it themselves. (How else will they remember?)

They’re not ready to hear it, so they don’t. Until they’re ready.

One day, almost by magic, they figure out…
The Answer to feeling fulfilled in life is to be a contribution to the life of others. By helping people, you become fulfilled. Always.

Thinking about helping people is nice, but people aren’t helped by your thinking. Go Do something to help someone!

Volunteer to a charity you value. Call somebody that you know is going through a hard time and then go help them with something. (The talk is nice, but the actual support is best.) Just see how helping someone else makes you feel more alive and more grateful for what you have.

Make mistakes… publicly.
Here he goes again! Make Mistakes. Nothing’s wrong. Play and see what happens.

Know why I say that so much? Because it’s true! Stretch and grow. Playing small stunts your growth. If you want to have a fuller life, relationship, career, then you’ll need to be uncomfortable sometimes.

Practice being uncomfortable in small ways. That will strengthen your muscles for when it’s important.

Ask for directions, but stay lost. Sing on the street corner. Talk to people in the elevator. Whatever feels like a stretch for you.

Then, when you’re better at dealing with uncomfortable and stretching yourself, you’ll be able to ask for and try bigger things. That’s where the growth and the rewards are.

Have a go at it. Try these things. You won’t explode. I promise.

There is a power, an energy, a likability that comes along with being the enthusiastic volunteer. At a networking meeting, if the leader asks, “Who would like to start us off?” it’s a great time for you to thrust your hand powerfully into the air and say, “I’ll go!”

People respond to that commitment, that willingness to lead, and your dynamic attitude. You’ve begun your pitch or commercial with an advantage that nobody else there will get.
First mover. Brave. Leader.

It’s a strong attitude that I hope you’ll bring with you to any event where you may be asked to speak.

Picture yourself at a workshop, perhaps about sales or some aspect of communication, and the instructor asks for a volunteer. If you go first, you gain a few fantastic advantages. Besides the one mentioned above, that general +1 you get from people, there are three others I’ll mention.

First, you get it done and out of the way!
If you are near the end of the line, you spend the whole time fretting about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. Someone else uses a line you were going to use and know you wonder if you should use it or change it. The person before you is fantastic and you’re wondering “How in the world will I follow that?!?”

Second, you’ll get the best coaching.
If it’s a class, a workshop, or training, the first volunteer always gets the best coaching. Even if the trainer doesn’t consciously try to reward the person for going first, they do! They use that example to show people the right way to do the thing and for ways to improve.

Third, you get to relax and enjoy the rest.
You sit down and you’re done. No fretting. No stress. You get to watch all of the others intently, taking in valuable information that others are missing because they’re fretting. (See 1) They’re only half listening to what’s going on and missing the best parts.

I learned this in Improv where I learned that there is nothing worse than an empty stage. Like a DJ with dead air, an improvisor’s first instinct is to jump out and fill that space. It quickly becomes far more important than, “I don’t know what I’ll do.”

It was quite freeing to finally get that having an idea isn’t what’s important. It’s about getting out there and making it happen.

I know that’s scary for folks that haven’t made that shift, but I promise you that if you do, you’ll enjoy events, meetings and workshops a lot more!

 

“I don’t want to!”

With a stamping of feet and a petulant look the child storms off, secretly smiling inside because he got out of it again. He’s happily playing with his toys and the task remains incomplete until the next time the demand comes.

Why would I let my kids get away with this behavior? I wouldn’t! I don’t let them bully or use crocodile tears to get out of doing something they need to get done.

But the child I’m talking about above is not my child. It’s me!

How in the world do I let the little child in me run the show? If there’s something I need/want/have to do, sometimes in my head I hear the voice, “I just don’t want to do that now! Aren’t there other things we could do?”

And yes, there are always other things to do. Especially playing with my toys: Facebook, Twitter, games, actual toys with my real kids. Everything is better than the work!

Truth is, I do get a lot done. But there are some aspects of running a business that don’t exactly “call” to me. Faced with those, anything seems better. “Hey! Better bathe the cat or trim my finger nails or… something that’s Not Accounting.”

I’ve spent a lot of time, thought, and conversation around this lately. One sort of scary revelation that I’ve had is that it might be all very simple. More simple than an evolved mind wants to face.

“JUST DO IT”
Nike has quite the perfect slogan. There really is none better.

You can always come up with reasons you don’t need to do something right now. There is always another thing that needs to get done, too.

Achieving your goals may be as simple as stop listening to the distractor in your head.
Here are the steps to get everything done:
List things you need/want to get done.

1. Prioritize them
2. Make a schedule and Stick to it.
3. Finish within the time you’ve given yourself.
   If you don’t finish, MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ITEM.
   (Learn from your inexact estimation and estimate better next time.)

At the end of your day, if you haven’t finished some projects, put them in the schedule.

Some folks would say work late and finish up. And, while I often do this, I won’t recommend it. Draw some boundaries between your work and you’re non-work time or you’ll never get to feel “done for the day.”

I KNOW it’s not easy. I struggle with it, too. Your brain will constantly look for easier things to do, more fun things to do, ANYTHING to do but the task at hand. Say, “Thanks for sharing. Cool idea. We’ll schedule it for tomorrow.” Write it down as a note and get back to work.

It’s weird writing this because if you know me, you know I’m a laid-back sort. I know everything will work out and if I don’t get This or That done today, it’ll be OK. That is NOT the path to wild success.

“Everything will be OK” means nothing falls apart; nobody dies. But Success? That lies on the other side of the work.

I highly recommend “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. Even if you’re not a writer, the attitude and perspective of “Going Pro” can help you in your business and your life. Guaranteed!

You have something you want to get done. Your brain wants to do something else right now. Thanks, Brain! We’ll schedule your thing in for later. We’re doing This now.

There are a gajillion productivity systems. Don’t spend three weeks picking the best system. That’s just your brain tricking you into Not doing the work again.

Try this simple system above and see if it helps. Of course, it doesn’t cover every aspect of business and every option that might come up. Consider it training wheels. Getting your brain used to being told what to do and at what time. Maybe later you’ll want to try one of those more elaborate systems.

For now, let’s just get some work done!
(Remember to schedule in some free time or Random Work time, too.)

—————————————————————————
It may seem weird that I often talk about your brain talking to you as if you’re two people. And it kind of is. Your older, lizard brain that wants safety and comfort is always talking to your conscious brain, that wants success and thrills. It’s like having two people, that want different things, in your head.

You mostly hear the voice when you’re worried, anxious, or afraid. The first level of becoming successful is recognizing that voice, thanking it for the concern, and then moving forward.
The second level is realizing that your “safety brain” is talking to you ALL the time and making most of your decisions for you.

You just have to get better at hearing it. (I recommend one of my Fun & Fearless workshops)

If you don’t hear the conversation going on in your head, the voice of safety tells you to do something (or not do something as fits the situation) and you just DO WHAT IT SAYS.

You don’t get a conscious say in the matter. You don’t hear the conversation, only the resulting commands from your brain.

When you hear about communications, consider that the most important conversations in the whole world are going on in your head and you’re not hearing them!

Listen in. Get familiar with the voice. Get into the conversation.
Get Things Done!

Sarcasm sucks. Please do not use sarcasm again.

It seems funny to knock people, to question their intelligence, their virility, their style. And everyone else is doing it, so why the ban?

Sarcasm is always an attack. There is always some little piece of that “victim’s” mind that shrinks back and is hurt by it. It hurts others and you could be hurting yourself, too!

Imagine… You walk into a room sporting a new haircut, feeling pretty good about it. A couple of people say nice things like, “New haircut? Looks great.” and “That cut really brings out your eyes.”

One person, the “funny” one says, “Did you cut it yourself?” Everyone laughs at the slight ribbing, even you. After all, it’s just a joke.

But, I guarantee that there is a small part of you that winces; that says, “Does it really look bad? Are those other folks just being nice?” You’ve laughed along and not falsely. We’ve been trained to think that sarcasm is funny.

But I want you to consider whether it’s worth it to hurt others for the laugh? I searched Google Images for Sarcasm and found a lot of pro-sarcasm pics. Most of them include sarcasm inside (recursion for the win!). Even the fake definition abuses people.

I used to be terribly sarcastic. After all, I’m one of the “funny” ones and everything is fair game. Funny comes from a skew and the unexpected. We expect people to be kind and social. So, the rude thing is unexpected and we’re jolted a bit and laugh.

The thing is, it’s a sophomoric, easy kind of humor. Be smarter. Unless you’re wallowing in dick jokes and poop humor, I think you could elevate your game. (And if you are in that space, you REALLY need to elevate your game.)

I was talking to a younger gent about this a while back. His defense was that it was fun to be amongst your friends, ragging on each other. It was a common, fun thing they all just do. They would try to top each other for kicks. Reminds me of “the dozens” where people would freestyle bashing on each other, especially with a lot of “yo’ mama…” jokes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dozens

So, maybe it does cause a reflexive snort. Maybe there even is some sort of camaraderie built around it. But, wouldn’t you rather hear things that are funny and make you think? Wouldn’t you like to have fun friends that build you up rather than ones that tear you down for a laugh?

It might work, but it’s a low and dangerous humor.

 

It’s not only bad for the “butt” of the joke. Think about this… If you are the one that says the snarky thing, even if you get the laugh, the victim sometimes consciously thinks, “Jerk” and some of the others that hear it may think the same.

If it comes off a little meaner than you expected, everyone that hears it now thinks less of you. They just found out you’re mean-spirited (or ignorant).  You just wanted to be funny, but now you have given people one little bit of a reason to dislike you.

I’m not saying you need to please everyone, never offend, or be meek necessarily. Just on a high level, it’s my guess that you’d probably rather have more people like you than not.

Again, these people might not even consciously register that you just went down a notch “in their book.” But it’s happening. Why walk the fine line of “How mean is funny?” and “How mean is just mean?”?

One day you may be wondering why your dance card isn’t full. People sort of shy away and you don’t know why. There wasn’t one thing you did to bug or hurt anyone. But perhaps a hundred small things that you didn’t really notice were adding up. 

I’ve mostly eliminated it from my life, but years of training and habit make it hard to root out completely. I certainly feel like a better person for the effort AND I guarantee that I’m just as fun and funny as ever.  I hope you will work at it, too.

If you’re smart, you’ll stop being sarcastic.
And I know you are smart… and funny… and good-looking, too!
(No sarcasm intended!)