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Are You Comfortable Being Uncomfortable?
At the bottom of all Improv training lies this astoundingly great skill, “Be Comfortable being Uncomfortable.”
Whenever I am running workshops, that’s the main thing that I want people to walk away with. I don’t usually tell them that. We just play games, jump around, and think in creative ways they never thought of before. All good. But, what am I really doing?
I’m getting them uncomfortable and teaching them how to still navigate and think creatively from that space.
Stop for a minute and think about how would your life be if you could, at the worst possible moments, when you’re afraid, or lost, or just plain befuddled… what if you could still come up with solutions and great ideas??
That’s the big prize in learning Improv. Becoming Comfortable being Uncomfortable.
I think that’s one of the prizes in military training, skydiving, and any other sort of high-intensity, often high-danger, training opportunities. Why is Improv better? Less chance of literally dying. Sure, some people are afraid of “dying onstage” and of public speaking, but that’s nothing compared to being at a high altitude with a very real chance of going Splat!
Once again, I must point out the urban myth that people are more afraid of public speaking than death. It’s a mis-reading of what was published in The Book Of Lists (1977) that listed “Public speaking” as the “#1 most-reported fear” and death came in as the sixth.
The question was “What things are you afraid of?” It was not “Which of these things do you fear the most?” See the difference?
It proves that public speaking is a common fear, not the most intense fear. It’s a small but very important difference. Sure it may be scary, but if someone with a gun said “Get up there and speak or I’ll kill you,” you might sputter and stammer, but you’d speak!
Here’s how it works in my training: I’ll teach a game, usually some weird combination of physicality and language skills that will really befuddle some of the folks. And as soon as they get it; as soon as they become comfortable with it, I add a twist to make it harder again. Once they get it, it gets ramped up again. The goal is Not to get good at this game. The goal is to get good at continually creating, even when you’re brain is scrambled. FUN!
And I say “some folks” because some games are easier for some people than others. The next thing to do is a pick a different type of game to make sure the “comfortable with that game” people get a bit thrown this time.
Luckily, there are hundreds of Improv games and nobody can rock all of them. Even experienced improvisers have trouble with some parts. And that’s where they should be working. Again, NOT to get good at every aspect of the game, but in order to get into the mindset of not exactly knowing how it’s going to go… and still going boldly!
For those of you that are not taking an Improv class, I suggest that you find ways to make yourself uncomfortable. Get up in front of people and talk, meet people you don’t know, wear some crazy pants. Whatever makes you shudder a bit and smile like, “I would Never do that, “ is what you might want to try.
Do it with commitment. Don’t give up too quickly. Push it farther than you think you can and see how fun and creative you become in those moments.
Consider all of the places this skill will benefit your life. Whether you’re a blogger, a speaker, a stand-up comedian or a cop, this is something that can save your butt! Some call it “Grace Under Pressure” or maybe “Keeping a Coool Head,” I call it “Being Comfortable being Uncomfortable.”
Whatever you call it, it’s a lifesaver.
Now, go get into an Improv class!
Much love!
Perfect is the suck!
Looking good and being smart, clever or witty. Those are just some of the things that drive me and probably you. There are others, less noble and perhaps more interesting, but these are the ones that I want to talk about today.
These gremlins still keep popping up and stopping me from creating things. I don’t know about you, but my internal editor hates to let me get even one whole sentence down without looking over it a second or third time. Sometimes it’s what keeps me from making an important call.
Perfect is a pain in the ass!
It’s the little voice in my head that says, “Really? After all this time, you still don’t know where to put a comma?” And then, I’m stopped. I’m a failure. I can’t finish a story if I can’t finish a sentence, right?.
How in the world do we keep going with this constant niggling going on?
Hemmingway’s little voice probably cursed him for bad punctuation. And, let’s not get started on e.e. cummings!
I’ve read that Jim Carey has a full-time therapist that goes around with him because he fears what he’s doing won’t work. (Of course, you can’t believe Anything you read on the internets.)
But, these people worked through their struggles, they learned what needs to be learned, they stifle the voice, and they have become very successful.
The thing is, nothing is easy when you start. If it was easy, everyone would do it. BUT, the more you write, the better you get. The more you ski, paint, manage people, or dabble in Photoshop, the better you get at all of them AND there are resources for any problem you may have.
Just about everything can be found in books that are already out there, websites, and people. Go find someone that has done it before you. They can offer tips, inspiration or more.
You know that Perfect is going to whisper in your ear, pointing out all sorts of mistakes, slip-ups and such. Trust me. It’s OK. All is right with the world.
What have I learned from Improv??
Two great lessons that help me get through everything. And they’re simple! Not always easy, but simple.
1. Even if you don’t know how it’s going to work out, GO! Make it up as you go. Have the confidence that you can make it work.
2. Commit to it! No pussy-footing around. Do it as if Everything depends on it getting done.
It might be tough at first. Remember, everything is. But, it’s like a muscle; the more you use it the stronger it will get.
Learn to Go Anyway and Commit and everything will get done! Your life will astound you.
One more thing you need to know: It does not help you to fight the voice, to yell at it.
For example, when I’m writing and the voice pops up, I just say, “Thanks for watching out for me. I appreciate that you want me to look good and be safe. But this isn’t going to be seen by anyone and it will be excellent before I put it out there. And I’ll need your help during revision. Talk to you later.”
Perfect is a dream and will keep you from stretching.
Striving for excellence will yield superior results!
You might check out my speaker friend Topher Morrison’s book “Settle for Excellence” for more on that.
You can find him and it here: http://tophermorrison.com/ (Not an affiliate link or anything. I just like the guy!)
Bobby
Bobby McFerrin. I just love this guy.
It’s one of those things where I won’t think of him for like a year and then somebody mentions the name, or I hear a snippet of a song, or I see a video like the one below… and then I remember how really amazing he is.
He’s living his dream, teaching people music around the world AND creating his own type of music, too. He doesn’t just sing acapella. He creates soundscapes.
I ran across this great quote by Bobby and while he is talking about music, it is equally true for Improv (and Life!)
When asked if he feared making mistakes in his performances, Bobby said,
If you’re quick, you use [mistakes]. You incorporate them – you turn the mistake into something else… you let the mistake guide you to a whole other place. And sometimes mistakes are the best thing that can happen, because they might lift you out of your lethargy, out of your complacency, and open your mind up to a whole other area that you wouldn’t have gone to intentionally.
This is such a great way to say this!
I am always putting this in to conversation with my workshop participants and coaching clients. Make Mistakes. Make lots of them! The edge of chaos is where all of the great ideas hide out. It’s where creation happens.
Sure it can be scary and that monster, The Fear of Looking Bad, always lurks there, too. But, get over it! Take risks. Fail forward. The joy and delight of creation far outweighs fear of simple embarassment!
The part about going to areas you wouldn’t have gone to intentionally is a big one (especially for writers of any sort). Doing Improv, you will say things that you would simply NEVER have thought to put together.
You learn how to unbridle your unconscious thoughts and give them a free pass to your mouth. None of that limiting Rational Brain here today!
Trust me, that’s useful!
Now check out this cool video of Bobby demonstrating spontaneous music.
World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.
This video is cool because he easily demonstrates they we could all just do that, too. I love it when someone not only demonstrates excellence, but can so easily evoke it in others. People that might not have thought of themselves as gifted musically can play along with him here. And hopefully someone in that audience is inspired to go out and make some music of their own!
STOP!
There really isn’t anything more to say, is there?
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