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My father’s last lesson
“I just want to get back into business.”
Wally Martini – 11/18/2010
My father’s last words fit him to a T. When I tell anyone that knew him those last words, they say, “Yep. That’s him!”
You see, my father was only an employee for a short time in his life. Outside of that, he created a number of businesses. Most of them did quite well, especially considering he almost always started them off with little or no resources.
He was born with the “gift of gab” as they say. A natural born salesman that always had a story and a smile. He mostly worked in sales, selling everything from time share to used cars, to store fixtures, and dozens of other things in between.
He was “Jolly Wally, the Round man with the Square Deal.”
But, something in his background, some events that happened to him, some story that he told himself about the world… led him to be self-destructive when things got going well.
And that’s why he had to keep starting businesses instead of taking one to fantastic heights.
So, why am I telling you this? It’s because of something that just dawned on me. I was talking with Ruth Rymal the other day and I was talking about how I’ve coached so many people out of the corporate slave pens and into their own business. But for some reason, until only recently, I have kept suckling at the corporate teat!
I now know that my Dad never wanted me to have a hard life like he had. He never wanted me to have to struggle with not being able to feed the kid (and in my case, three kids!) he wanted me to have a comfortable job where I would know that I had a steady paycheck.
I truly thank him for caring and I know he only wanted the best for me.
I’m sure that a stable job with benefits is fine for some folks, but it is NOT a path to success.
Millionaires don’t work for people, do they? They own their own businesses. And the best of them created their own business from nothing..
So, like my Dad, I just want to get into business. And hopefully, I’ve worked through enough of my mental junk that I won’t be so self-destructive and I’ll take this thing to the top. You know, my name in lights 15 feet tall and all.
The error in his thinking was that being in business for yourself is hard and comes with a lot of severe ups and downs, and they end badly. Sure it has ups and downs, but we can prepare for that and they don’t have to end badly if we can manage our own demons.
I say that running your own business is the path out of mediocrity and baseline living.
What’s your dream? What could you create? What’s stoppping you??
Networking
Let’s talk about meeting people. Often called different things like Marketing, Face-time, Networking, and Visibility, I hope to give you a unique spin on it.
A lot of people have various fears and assumptions about what networking is and is not.
A stuffy room full of old business weasels in suits, smoking cigars and talking about how they’ll get the last dollar from the dying hands of the sheeplike masses. – Actual quote from TM
Here’s the thing. (It’s a bit of a secret, but I’ll let You in on it.) The people at networking meetings are… people like you and me. They’re just folks that are hoping to bring their product or service out to as many people as possible. It’s my experience that they’re all pretty good people, too! Not money-grubbing bastards, corporate weasels, or slimy glad-handing sale jerks.
In fact, those people all have jobs in big corporations. Networking meetings are more usually filled with entrepreneurs and startup businessfolks that are really doing it for a good reason.
So, where do you network?
Find some groups in your town. I recommend Free Networking International. Just go and see what it’s like. The daytime events are usually more structured. You go, get an opportunity to say what you do and who you’re looking for, and you get to talk to a couple of people, and learn about a dozen or two more.
There are also mixers and socials that are more freeform meet and greets. You just go, and mingle, and talk with whomever you run into.
Which works best for you is based on your personality. Check out a couple!
So, how do you network?
This is the important part. Please read this part carefully.
Too many people go to networking events to try to sell their stuff and worse… to get people to become their salesmen and referral source!
Don’t do that! People that do that are doomed to fail at networking and get burned out quickly.
Want to be a success at networking? Go meet a lot of people, find out what sort of prospect is good for them, and learn about their business. Take notes, probably right on their business card, and then save it in a binder or whatever system you can use that you can rummage through quickly.
Just go and meet people. Get them into your physical network. Don’t just grab a card and throw yours. Get to know them! Every Real Estate agent is different. You can refer different ones to different people.
Offer value first. Get them a lead, a prospect, or a vendor that they can use. They will remember you! And, they will feel great about referring you to someone.
Don’t go to sell. Go to connect.
As a bonus tip: The above goes for Twitter , FaceBook, and everything else online, too! Meet people, make connections, introduce people, and offer value first!
People will get to know you as a giver and a useful person. Your name gets known by people that could use your products or services, by vendors that might be able help you, and by “big name” people in your industry that might be willing to do some sort of joint venture.
People buy from and refer people to those that they know and respect.
Go become the person that Everyone knows and respects (and grow your business)!!
You don’t need credentials to validate your worth!
My entire career has been made up of two service offerings, neither of which actually required being credentialed in order to be successful: Web Design and Coaching.
Now, of course, there are credentials that exist in both of those. You can become certified by various large, widely recognized groups.
BUT, you don’t HAVE to play their game. Turns out that you can be a succesful life or business coach (or web designer) without submitting the required documentation and doing the hours of training.
Life experience and training in other areas may be fine to get you going. And then a good resume or testimonials and referrals may be all you need to keep going and become amazingly successful.
I am not telling anyone to forego getting trained. I see the usefulness of having those systems in place, just like I see the usefulness of having universities. But, a large percentage of the richest people in the world don’t have a college degree! It is not Absolutely Required.
So, you COULD be a great, famous, and wealthy coach just be getting out there and coaching people. How is Tony Robbins doing?
The most important point of what I am saying is perhaps you’re a new(er) coach. You’re not yet certified. But you’re working on getting your training finished, or your calls recorded, or logging the hours that are required for ICF certification.
I know, trust me I know, that sometimes when speaking to a potential client, or your friends, or someone at a networking meeting, the little voice in your head is calling you out as a fraud. “You’re not REALLY a coach, yet!”
Just say, “Thanks for your input. Now watch me coach!”
You are a coach because you know yourself to be. You’ve made a difference and you have a burning desire to do it more.
You know that you have something valuable to offer to people. You’ve helped someone get past something difficult or helped another reach unexpected heights. Good on ya!
You are a coach and probably a damn fine one! Don’t let your inner conversations stop you from having meaningful, powerful real-world conversations.
The credentials will come later… or not. Start working with people now. Give them your best to make them their best!
And thank you for making the world a better place!
I love ya!
Please tell me what you think in comments below. I welcome praise, but will cheerfully accept disagreement, too. 🙂
Join us in the Third Tribe!
Do you need to learn how to market yourself and your site better?
Are you concerned thaat nobody is coming to look at your site?
Do people come to your site, but not buy your coaching or your products?
I’ve been a member of this group since it started and it’s amazing! You can get your questions answered there and some really great support in getting it done.
There are so many helpful, giving, and Smart people in this group, I am constantly impressed!
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Chris Brogan, Darren Rowse, Sonia Simone , Brian Clark, Johnny B. Truant and many others are on all the time asking provocative questions, answering requests for help, and creating a great welcoming atmosphere.
You’ll learn about marketing, blogging and business, copywriting and you can join some great brainstorming sessions.
Besides the fantastic and always busy forum, there are monthly seminar calls where you can hear interviews of successful, money-making folks. And, you get to ask questions in the forum for them to answer on the calls, too.
If you are looking to have a better online presence and get visible, then you should definitely check it out!
It’s one of only 2 membership sites that I am in and recommend. I’ll write about Dave Navarro’s program once he opens it up again for new folks.
Check out the Third Tribe!
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