Toby Martini

Better Business & Better Speaking through Improv!

Perfect is the suck!

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perfectPerfect. grrrr 

Looking good and being smart, clever or witty. Those are just some of the things that drive me and probably you. There are others, less noble and perhaps more interesting, but these are the ones that I want to talk about today. 

These gremlins still keep popping up and stopping me from creating things. I don’t know about you, but my internal editor hates to let me get even one whole sentence down without looking over it a second or third time. Sometimes it’s what keeps me from making an important call. 

 

Perfect is a pain in the ass!
It’s the little voice in my head that says, “Really? After all this time, you still don’t know where to put a comma?” And then, I’m stopped. I’m a failure. I can’t finish a story if I can’t finish a sentence, right?. 

How in the world do we keep going with this constant niggling going on? 

Hemmingway’s little voice probably cursed him for bad punctuation. And, let’s not get started on e.e. cummings! 

I’ve read that Jim Carey has a full-time therapist that goes around with him because he fears what he’s doing won’t work. (Of course, you can’t believe Anything you read on the internets.) 

But, these people worked through their struggles, they learned what needs to be learned, they stifle the voice, and they have become very successful. 

The thing is, nothing is easy when you start. If it was easy, everyone would do it. BUT, the more you write, the better you get. The more you ski, paint, manage people, or dabble in Photoshop, the better you get at all of them AND there are resources for any problem you may have. 

Just about everything can be found in books that are already out there, websites, and people. Go find someone that has done it before you. They can offer tips, inspiration or more. 

You know that Perfect is going to whisper in your ear, pointing out all sorts of mistakes, slip-ups and such. Trust me. It’s OK. All is right with the world. 

What have I learned from Improv??

Two great lessons that help me get through everything. And they’re simple! Not always easy, but simple. 

1.  Even if you don’t know how it’s going to work out, GO! Make it up as you go. Have the confidence that you can make it work. 

2. Commit to it! No pussy-footing around. Do it as if Everything depends on it getting done. 

It might be tough at first. Remember, everything is. But, it’s like a muscle; the more you use it the stronger it will get. 

Learn to Go Anyway and Commit and everything will get done! Your life will astound you. 

One more thing you need to know: It does not help you to fight the voice, to yell at it. 

For example, when I’m writing and the voice pops up, I just say, “Thanks for watching out for me. I appreciate that you want me to look good and be safe. But this isn’t going to be seen by anyone and it will be excellent before I put it out there. And I’ll need your help during revision. Talk to you later.”  

Perfect is a dream and will keep you from stretching.
Striving for excellence will yield superior results! 

You might check out my speaker friend Topher Morrison’s book “Settle for Excellence” for more on that.
You can find him and it here: http://tophermorrison.com/ (Not an affiliate link or anything. I just like the guy!) 

Why worry?

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There is no point to worrying about anything!

You worry because you think that worrying is doing something about it and hence by worrying you believe that you will help prevent disaster. You worry because you believe it works for you.

And when the events you were worried about finally come about, you feel justified that you were correct in worrying about them because, look, here they are now!

Worry is useless, because at best it can only disrupt the desired positive outcome, and at worst bring about a negative outcome. There is not a single instance where worry can work positively. So why bother to do it any more?

— David Cameron Gikandi

In Improv you can’t take the time to worry about how it’s going to work. You just Do IT. We walk out on stage and say the first thing that comes up.

Don’t stop to think. You might not get started again.

And it works, because we’re all trained to “Yes, and…” every idea. Can you train your team, your business, your family to play the “Yes, and…” game, to Agree and Add To every idea??

I guarantee you’ll be more succesful, more fulfilled, and definitely have more fun!

Connection

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Is there anyone that you had some sort of a minor flare-up with… and now haven’t talked to them in a long time?

Couldn’t your relationship be worth more than being right?

(There’s nothing wrong, just trying to bring more love and connectedness to the world.)

3 tools for a fantastic life

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bee +There are three things that you could start using Right Now in order to create a really great business and a fantastic life.

1. Become Staggeringly Positive.

2. Play Everything as a game.

3. Inspire everyone you speak with.

1. Going into anything, a meeting, an interview, a party, Anything. Envision that it is going to be great.  People are going to like you. Someone there is looking for exactly what you have to offer. The Right person is going to be there.

AND, WHY NOT?
If you don’t, then you probably go in thinking things will be horrible; there won’t be anyone interesting to talk to; you might do something dumb and look bad.

That will keep you from meeting the right people and will likely create the very things you worried about!

If you go in thinking, “Nobody will really want to talk to me,” then NOBODY will want to talk to you!

Who do you want to do business with?
Assuming similar products, you’ll work with the person that is enthusiastic about their product and gets you excited about it too.

Someone in sales ho-hum about the product won’t be in sales for long! 

Just the other day, I was talking to a businessman that was about to launch a new business idea. He’s got a million dollar business and he’s going to give away free books, 50,000 actual paperbacks.

I don’t know the business model or how it’s going to work, but he said, “I’ll either win or I’ll learn.” That is a guy living a great life!

Don’t live in What May go Wrong. Live in What Will go Right!

2. Treat everything like a game: The game of parenting, the game of work, the game of starting a new business. Everything is a game to play.

Did you read or see Tom Sawyer? He got those kids to work on the fence because he made it seem like a game to them. They paid him to do the “work”!

So, for those kids that paid to do it, was it tedious or hard?
No. It was a game to play. It was just the way that it got framed as a game that made it fun for them.

There are lots of games where people throw a ball around from here to there. They use a stick to hit a ball into a tiny hole. They take a big ball and throw it into a small, high hole. And we pay to watch them play football, golf, basketball…

But are any of those things inherently fun?  Sweating, puffing and straining things!

But we said that’s a game and it’s fun and… Doing a spreadsheet is not fun. We’ve heard that enough times that now, working on a spreadsheet IS not fun.

The things we call games and fun are just as made up as the work we do. So you may as well choose to look at it in a way that is more empowering and more fun for you!

You know, everything really could be fun.

A spreadsheet? How could that be fun? Make a game of it. Compete with someone to get them done first. Or with yourself. More today than yesterday or whatever.

Connect with the fact that for some people… it really IS fun. They dig it! The only reason you don’t is that you’ve told yourself it’s hard, boring, or whatever and that you shouldn’t Have to do it. Instant tedium!

3. Inspire everyone you speak with.

In any conversation you get into: with the clerk at the store, the maintenance man, and the principal at your child’s school, get them to see a winning future.

You may be called in for a parent teacher conference. You Could have it like this guy is mean or out to get your kid.

What do They really want? They probably really want the best for your child. Their goal is to produce great, smart, creative kids that will change the world.

Listen for that. Mirror it back. Acknowledge the work that he’s done. It’s really great of you to look after my kid. I get that your job is to create great children. Thank You.

The word inspiration is derived from the Latin root spirare meaning “spirit,” to breathe, to give life.

When you listen to someone’s story and mirror it back to them even more golden than they see it now, it  Creates life over there, for them. And for you!

When you are inspiring people to live in their dreams and to go for what they want, your life is better too.

You get to live a life of inspiration, creativity and joy. You’ll always be surrounded by people that are up to great things.

Now, take a moment.

  • Think of something that you really want in your future. Really picture it.
  • What game could you build around that? A way of scoring, measuring progress, rewards.
  • Now, envision it having all worked out the best way possible.  Complete.   $$.  Romance
  • What’s available to you, now? How do you feel?
  • And now, know in your heart of hearts that it Really is possible.

 

And then anything you have to do to make it happen will just fall away. It doesn’t take willpower to live your dreams.

I’d love to talk with any of you that want to share your future with me!

Please leave a comment and tell me what are your best tools for creating, joy, excitement, and sheer happiness in your life!

No limits 2

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In the previous post, I asked you to create and describe how your life would be if you had no limits. I hope you played along. And if you didn’t, please go back and actually do that now. (This is your life we’re changing here. It won’t change until you take action!)

Now here’s the thing:
You have no limits except those that you put on yourself.

If you say you can’t go to a place, that’s because you say so.

If you can’t have the things you want, it’s because you say so.

If you can’t become something, it’s because You Say So.

It’s not your circumstances. It’s how you choose to react to them.

I sometimes ask the question, “How would your life be if you had all the time, power, and resources to do anything you want?”

The answer is, “You would have the life you have now.”

How do I know that? Because you created it the way it is… even with all the power in the world to make other choices.

Some people are born poor, handicapped, and surrounded by evil. And while most around them flounder and die, they grow, move away, become rich and amazing.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus

Your life is the sum of your choices. And you have all the power in the world to change it from now on!

Go. Create. Have fun!